Stupid Cupid: Navigating Valentine’s Day when you’re Single

Valentine’s Day, aka Singles Awareness Day, is one of the most polarizing holidays - some people love showering their significant other with gifts and going on a date to a fancy restaurant, while others begrudge the performative nature of the holiday. For some, the day is an unwelcome reminder that they're trapped in an unhappy marriage, or that they don’t have a romantic partner. No matter how you feel, the holiday often seems simply unavoidable. 

If you’ve recently separated from a significant other, or wish you could escape your relationship, you may be dreading Valentine’s Day. Rest assured – you’re not alone. But Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be miserable just because you’re not celebrating with your S.O. this year. Below are some of our favorite things to do on February 14th.

Embrace Palentine’s Day or Galentine’s Day

You don’t have to be in a romantic relationship to appreciate love on Valentine’s Day. Take stock of your relationships with friends, family, and your support network, and take this opportunity to do something nice and unexpected for those you care about, whether it’s sending them a handmade valentine, scheduling a catch up call, telling them your favorite things about them, or sharing a cherished memory. You will never regret telling someone what they mean to you, but one day, you might regret not having told them enough.

Have a “date night” with your kids

Even if your spouse or significant other is no longer in the picture, Valentine’s Day can be extra special when you focus on celebrating the other love(s) of your life - your kid(s). Little or big, make their day by hosting a “date night” - cook up a fun dinner or grab a bite at your favorite family-friendly restaurant, plan a craft or family outing, and give them handwritten Valentines so they have no doubt that they’re the apple(s) of your eye! 

Give back

If you’re feeling down on your luck, volunteering is a great way to get your focus off yourself, keep your brain busy, and gain a little perspective. Why not use Valentine’s Day as a motivator to start getting involved in your community? You may even find a new, fulfilling hobby to do year-round. In the DMV, check out these volunteer opportunities:

• Puppy love is the cure for anything that ails you: Montgomery County Animal Services is currently seeking volunteer dog walkers in the evenings Monday-Thursday, or sign up to foster a dog or cat with a local shelter or rescue organization
• Connect with kids: Sign up to be a Power Readers Mentor with Everybody Wins DC and spend an hour a week helping students develop literacy and social-emotional skills through reading-based mentorship
• Share the love with older adults in your community: AARP hosts an annual program called Cupid Crew to deliver valentines and roses to older adults at risk of isolation in communities across the U.S. Decorate and mail or drop off valentines cards, or reach out to volunteer@wishofalifetime.org for information on opportunities to deliver roses to those in need of a little extra love and connection

Indulge in self-care

Valentine’s Day is all about love, and self-love is just as important as relationships with others. Do something for yourself to celebrate the person you are at this time in your life. 

• Write a list of the things you like about yourself: include things big and small, from your witty sense of humor to your uncanny ability to know when the oven timer is about to go off
• Pamper yourself: Book a massage or spa treatment, or indulge in some fancy bath salts and a new sheet mask and enjoy an evening just for you
• Try something new: From that workout class you’ve been wanting to check out, to a floral arranging workshop, or that recipe you’ve had bookmarked for ages but just haven’t had the time to test out, research shows that trying new things triggers the release of dopamine, and can even help you improve your memory and live longer!

Celebrate the best things about being single

Even if you’re missing your significant other, there are some great things about being single. Namely, the freedom of not having to answer to anyone else; the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want without worrying about someone else’s schedule; being able to make all the decisions about interior decorating or what to have for dinner. Spend the day taking advantage of your singledom!

• Host a dinner party for single friends: No couples allowed! Tell your worst dating stories or talk about your ex’s most annoying habits
• Have a solo living room dance party: Scream-sing your favorite power anthems by Robyn and Lizzo, and get your cardio for the day by dancing like no one's watching. Miley Cyrus' new song, Flowers, is perfect for this
• Indulge in your favorite reality TV and make yourself a charcuterie board for dinner: No significant other means no one to judge you (not that there’s anything wrong with loading up on cheese or watching Real Housewives)

Read some V-Day horror stories

The truth is that sometimes, misery loves company. If you’re dealing with feelings of sadness or anger, it’s okay to seek out some anti-Valentine’s Day content. Read about the dark origins of the holiday or scroll through these Valentine’s Day horror stories all but guaranteed to make you feel a lot better about your current relationship status. 

Ignore it altogether

If the thought of spending Valentine’s Day solo is making you feel blue, you are well within your rights to ignore it altogether. Take the day off social media so you don’t have to see other people’s cringe-inducing posts professing their love for their significant other, and just enjoy the simplicity of having a completely normal day. 

However you feel, remember that Valentine’s Day is just one day a year, and before you know it, all the heart-shaped candy will be 70% off at CVS, and everyone will be on to the next thing. Your relationship status doesn’t define you, so don’t let it rule your life.