When a couple decides to part ways, it's not just the two of them who are impacted—their children often bear the brunt of the separation. It's critical to ensure that, even when relationships break down, a child's well-being remains at the forefront. Here at Z Family Law, we've seen numerous scenarios in Maryland and have walked numerous families through the maze of custody agreement types.
By understanding the different types of child custody, parents can make more informed decisions about what's best for their children. This article will delve into three custody arrangements: sole, primary, and joint/shared custody.
Child custody is a catch-all legal term that encompasses the rights and responsibilities of each parent in caring for their child(ren). There are two types of custody in Maryland: legal custody and physical custody. Under Maryland law, both decision-making authority (legal custody) and access (physical custody) determinations are evaluated against a “best interest” analysis. Aptly named, this analysis is applied to each child custody case to determine an outcome that’s in your child's best interest.
When we talk about sole custody, we're referring to one parent having exclusive legal and physical responsibility for the child, to the complete exclusion of the other parent. There are two main types of sole custody: sole legal custody and sole physical custody.
In cases where one parent is granted sole legal custody, they alone have the authority to make major decisions about the child's upbringing. These decisions might include those related to education, healthcare, and religious upbringing. Courts usually grant sole legal custody when they believe one parent is unfit due to reasons like substance abuse, mental health issues, or a history of abuse or domestic violence. Sole legal custody is granted more often than sole physical custody, but is still relatively rare.
Sole physical custody is an arrangement in which one parent maintains full physical custody and the other parent has no visitation or access rights and never sees the child under any circumstances, supervised or unsupervised.
Sole physical custody is extremely rare. For one thing, courts tend to prefer that children maintain a relationship with both of their parents unless it is wholly unsafe to do so. Furthermore, the United States Constitution says that parents have a fundamental right to “direct the care, upbringing, and education of their children,” so there needs to be a very compelling reason to prevent a parent from ever seeing their child.
One example where sole physical custody may be granted is when one parent has abused the child and been incarcerated as a result. Outside of these cases and a few other select (and extreme) circumstances, the courts are inclined to find a safe access schedule that allows both parents access to see their child.
Primary physical custody allows the child to live with one parent full-time. The other parent may have visitation rights, which could be supervised or unsupervised. Primary physical custody does not necessarily mean the non-custodial parent is denied access to the child; it simply means the child resides primarily with one parent.
Joint, or shared, custody is when both parents share responsibility for the child. This arrangement can also be split further into joint legal custody and joint physical custody.
When both parents share joint legal custody, they collaborate on major decisions concerning the child's upbringing. Both parents have equal say in areas such as education choices, medical decisions, and religious matters. For this custody agreement to work, open communication and cooperation between parents is essential.
In some cases, the court will grant one parent “tie-breaking authority.” Essentially, this means that when both parents cannot come to a decision together, the parent with tie-breaking authority will have the final say.
Here, the child divides their time between both parents' homes. The specifics of this arrangement can vary, from alternating weeks to splitting time during the week. Some families opt for a 50/50 schedule, while others might choose a 60/40 or 70/30 split based on what’s feasible for the family’s routine, and what kind of schedule is best for the child based on their age, school schedules, and extracurricular activities, among other things.
One of the less traditional but increasingly popular custody arrangements is the concept of “nesting.” This method flips the typical custody paradigm on its head. Instead of the children shuffling between parents' residences, it's the parents who alternate in and out of the family home, ensuring the children remain in a stable, familiar environment.
In nesting arrangements, the family home remains the children's primary residence. Both parents maintain separate living spaces outside of this home, and they take turns staying with the children. For example, one parent might live in the family home during the week, while the other parent takes over on the weekend.
Nesting presents a unique approach to child-rearing post-separation, seemingly boasting several advantages. A potential benefit of this arrangement is the unparalleled stability it provides children. They can continue to live in a familiar setting, attend their regular school, and enjoy uninterrupted relationships with friends. Furthermore, the usual disruptions associated with custody switches—like the hassles of packing, adjusting to varying house rules, or misplacing belongings between homes—are minimized. The rotating nature of parents also sets clear boundaries regarding 'parenting time,' potentially reducing scheduling conflicts.
However, in practice, “nesting” can be a challenge for kids and parents alike. In our experience as divorce attorneys, for most families, there are more cons than pros. First, the necessity of maintaining three separate homes, including the family residence, implies significant financial commitments, and makes it impossible for many families. Plus, the resources used to maintain three residences can often be better used for the child’s benefit in other ways. Effective coordination and open communication become paramount to avoid overlaps and ensure a consistent home environment… and we’ve often observed that parents inevitably find themselves having the same fights they always did - about the dishes, who’s turn it is to fill the refrigerator, the thermostat, who cleaned the bathroom last, the laundry, etc. And, while the children stay put, the frequent changeover of parents may cause confusion, both for the children and those observing from the outside. Furthermore, the children don’t get to see what their parents’ lives look like when they’re not at the family home, and that can leave them feeling left out or abandoned. Finally, when one or both parents eventually want to include a new significant other in their lives in a meaningful way, the new S.O. either needs to sign on to this back-and-forth living arrangement (with the agreement of both parents) or needs to be resigned to a life where their partner lives with them part-time. While nesting may seem like a good arrangement, and in some cases, it may be, there are significant drawbacks that should be considered.
There are instances where neither biological parent is deemed suitable to be the primary caregiver in a custody agreement. In these cases, third-party custody comes into play. This arrangement allows someone other than the parents—like grandparents, aunts, uncles, close family friends, or unrelated caregivers—to obtain custody of the child.
Placing a child under third-party custody is often a measure taken to ensure their safety and stability, especially if the parents are deemed unfit. This arrangement not only guarantees a protective environment but also often allows children to maintain essential family ties. When they're under the care of relatives, there's a preservation of family and cultural continuity.
However, transitioning to third-party custody isn't without challenges. The process might involve legal complexities, particularly if one or both parents oppose the arrangement. Additionally, children could grapple with deep-seated feelings of abandonment and confusion about the shifts in their family dynamics.
Courts don't arbitrarily choose one custody arrangement over another. Several factors influence the decision:
While you can’t necessarily control exactly what your custody arrangement looks like, choosing the right custody schedule for your family is a deeply personal decision, often influenced by various emotional, logistical, and financial factors. Each arrangement comes with its own set of pros and cons. Here's a guide to help you discern which might be the best fit for your unique situation:
Consider the roles you and your ex-partner currently play in your child’s life. If one parent has traditionally been the primary caregiver, a sudden shift to equal custody might be jarring for the child. Conversely, if both parents have been actively involved, a joint or shared custody schedule where both parents have roughly equal time might make more sense.
Think about the practical aspects. Where are each of you going to live? How close will you be to each other and to your child's school? A 50/50 custody schedule might be ideal, but if one parent is relocating to another state or country, this can become impractical.
Younger children often require more consistent routines, making frequent transitions between homes challenging. Adolescents might prefer a say in where they spend their time, influencing the custody arrangement and parenting schedule. Always prioritize your child’s emotional and developmental needs.
Deciding on custody arrangements is rarely easy. The emotional and logistical challenges can seem insurmountable. However, by understanding the various types of custody and options for parenting schedules, and collaborating with experienced legal counsel, parents can carve out an arrangement that prioritizes the well-being of their child.
At Z Family Law, we understand the intricacies and sensitivities surrounding child custody, particularly in the state of Maryland. Our goal is to guide families toward decisions that uphold the best interests of the child, ensuring that, even in the midst of separation, children have the support, love, and stability they deserve. If you're facing custody agreement decisions, remember that with the right guidance and a commitment to your child's well-being, a positive path forward is possible.