The 12 Days of Christmas: What NOT to Get Your Spouse This Holiday Season

The holidays are officially here again, which means it’s time to deck the halls, turn on the carols, and embrace the spirit of the season. It also means that for many families, Santa Claus will soon be coming to town.

Gift-giving can be tricky for a lot of people, but a thoughtful gift for your spouse or significant other can go a long way toward showing them just how much they mean to you, while the wrong one can cause major issues, especially when it's a symptom of larger problems. While we wouldn’t recommend gifting your partner a flock of birds a la the classic Christmas carol (too many feathers, and talons),  there are a lot of things that might not be much worse.

The good news is, we’re here to help. Keep reading to unwrap our list of what NOT to give your partner over the 12 days of Christmas this year if you want to stay merry and married all the way into 2024.

1.  A rival team’s jersey

 On the first day of Christmas, nothing stokes a brewing marital showdown quite like playing into the opposing team’s hand just to prove a point.

2.  Two stubborn in-laws

You may be excited to have your parents home for the holidays — especially if they always take your side — but your spouse probably isn’t a fan of perpetually fielding questions around their disciplinary choices or whether they’re really going to have another one of Santa’s cookies.

3.  Unwanted anti-aging products

Take our word for it — reminding your spouse of their age will only make you both want to turn back time.

4. A puppy they didn't ask for, but will have to care for

Sorry, Fido — getting a shared dog is a mutual decision, not a holiday surprise.

5. The same thing you got my mother

Sure, your mom may have genuinely wanted that foot bath — but taking the easy way out and buying all the same things for the women in your life won’t have anyone feeling very festive. 

6.  A gym membership

Unless your partner specifically asks for a fitness-driven gift, a good rule of thumb is to run, not walk, in the opposite direction. 

7.  Seven dirty dishes (left by the sink)

Over the holidays, the most inconsiderate gestures often make the loudest statements — and precipitate the messiest clashes. Sometimes the best gift you can give is doing your share, picking up the slack, and not making your partner ask you to contribute to the household labor. 

8.  A vacuum

This just in — any symbol of domestic responsibility has no place under your tree, unless you plan to be the one using it.

9.  A gift from you to you

No matter how much your spouse loves your signature spare ribs, that Big Green Egg is still a gift for yourself, not a thoughtful gesture for your partner. 

10.  A 10-pack of socks

Practical? Sure. Thoughtful? Keep thinking. 

11.  Cheap scented candles

If you think 11 pipers piping sounds unsettling, you’ve clearly never had to open a gift your spouse bought from the dollar store.

12.  A coupon for “babysitting” your kids

No matter how much you consider your kids a gift, taking care of them doesn’t count as one! 

Struggling to hold back a smirk on par with the Grinch’s as he hatched his “wonderful, awful” plan atop Mt. Crumpit? Or, are you the one who is always unwrapping terrible, thoughtless gifts like these year after year? If so, it might be time to rethink more than just your holiday shopping list. Facing your marital challenges is anything but easy, especially during the holidays, but the greatest gift you can give yourself this holiday season is the honest new beginning you deserve.

At ZFL, our family lawyers know the stressors and challenges divorce brings — from disagreements in dividing spousal assets and negotiating the custody of your children, to redefining your sense of self. Whether you’re already set on divorce or still weighing your options, we’d be honored to help you start writing a hopeful next chapter that’s even merrier than your best Christmas yet.

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