Child custody lawyers in Maryland will tell you that some of the most contentious cases they see are child custody disputes between divorcing couples or unmarried co-parents. When parents can’t agree on what’s best for their children, things can get ugly.
Of course, the parents aren’t the only ones grappling with child custody disputes - the children involved often have strong opinions about where they want to live and with whom they want to spend their time. One question we often hear is: “can my child(ren) decide which parent they will live with after divorce?” Read on for the answer to this FAQ.
There are two types of custody in Maryland: legal custody and physical custody.
Legal custody concerns decision-making authority for educational, medical, and religious decisions, among other things. The court can award legal custody to either (sole legal custody) or both (shared legal custody) parents. In some cases of shared legal custody, the court may award one parent “tie breaking authority,” which essentially grants that parent the authority to make the final decision if the parents cannot come to an agreement.
Physical custody, on the other hand, is exactly what it sounds like: where and with whom the child will physically spend their time. In most cases, when someone asks whether their child has a say in their custody arrangement, they’re referring to physical custody.
When determining custody, the courts mix and match physical and legal custody, taking into account a family’s specific circumstances, to determine what it believes to be the best solution for each child.
In Maryland child custody cases, the court is responsible for crafting a custody arrangement that protects a child’s best interests. To do so, they evaluate a number of different factors, including:
In most cases, courts also emphasize preserving a child’s relationship with both parents, assuming it is safe to do so.
In Maryland, the court will directly take into account a child’s preference if they are over the age of 16. Further, at the age of 16, a child can petition the court to modify an existing custody arrangement.
However, it’s important to note that a child’s preference is only one of several things a judge will consider, and if the court finds that, based on other factors, a different custody arrangement would not be in the child’s best interest, they may decline to grant the child’s wishes.
For children younger than 16, on a case-by-case basis, the court may consider their preferences. There a number of ways in which a younger child’s opinion may be heard in Maryland court cases:
Ultimately, asking a child to decide who they live with places a lot of pressure on them, and children are not emotionally mature enough or equipped to handle these decisions. Further, kids are often susceptible to other influences - it’s not uncommon in custody cases for a parent to try to make their child feel negatively about the other parent (called parental alienation). It’s for these reasons that courts protect children by looking at the bigger picture to determine what’s in a child’s best interests rather than allowing kids to unilaterally decide who they will live with.
Even (and perhaps especially) if your child doesn’t get to decide what their custody arrangement looks like, you can help them navigate this difficult time by focusing on making them feel understood, heard, and validated at home.
If you're navigating a contentious child custody case, you need a compassionate and knowledgeable Maryland child custody attorney by your side. We can help. Contact our Rockville Child Custody Lawyers today by calling (301) 388-5528 or emailing hello@zfamilylaw.com.