Congratulations, you’re engaged! Amidst the excitement of announcing your news, wedding planning, and let’s be honest: just sitting and staring at your gorgeous engagement ring, you will likely find yourself thinking about what your life is going to look like after the wedding. After all, a wedding is not just a big party, but the beginning of a new chapter for you and your partner, and once the sparklers have gone out, and the rose petals have been swept away, you two are in this together ‘til death do you part (hopefully).
Enter, prenups. They tend to get a bad rap, but their mediocre PR belies an important truth: a prenuptial agreement is a symbol of deep love and commitment. When you and your future spouse sign a prenup, you are saying, “I love you so much that I want to protect you no matter what happens in the future.”
Plus, the prenup process can help you think through a lot of the logistical, financial, and emotional decisions you’ll face in the long run, eliminating surprises down the road so you know exactly what you’re getting when you say “I do.”
If you and/or your partner are thinking about a prenup, you’re already on the right track! But what really is a prenup? And what can you include in one? For answers to these and other commonly asked questions, read on!
A prenuptial agreement, or “prenup,” is a legally binding written agreement between two people who intend to get married. Typically, a prenup outlines the rules and agreements that will “govern” a couple’s marriage, and if something happens, how their individual and shared assets and obligations would be handled in the event of separation/divorce, death, or permanent disability.
Everyone can benefit from a prenup, but a prenup is especially essential for individuals and couples with significant assets, those who own businesses, or those who have children from previous relationships.
One of the best things about a prenuptial agreement is how flexible they are. For the most part, you can be as creative as you want when it comes to determining what to put in a prenuptial agreement. Some of the things you can address are:
These are just a few examples of the kinds of things you can include in a prenup. The main thing to keep in mind is that a prenup should protect and benefit both people in a marriage, not just one of them.
Note, also, that while you can get creative, there are certain things you cannot include, such as future waivers of child support, pre-planned custody arrangements (e.g., one parent will get custody of the child(ren)), or anything that would violate the law.
The cost and timeline for drafting a prenuptial agreement can vary significantly, depending on several factors, including:
In general, you should start the prenup process well in advance of your wedding, at least six months or so, if possible, to eliminate any financial or time pressure that could sway you or your partner into agreeing to something you otherwise would not.
In the state of Maryland and the District of Columbia, one attorney cannot represent both parties to a prenuptial agreement, so you will each need your own attorney from different law firms. The reasoning behind this is simple: your lawyer’s job is to zealously advocate for your best interests, and they can’t represent both your best interests and your future spouse’s at the same time.
When you’re basking in the glow of your engagement, the last thing you want to think about is the possibility of divorce. However, when you’re saying “I do,” you’re not just saying “...until death do us part.” Whether you like it or not, you are also saying “I do” to different legal and financial obligations, and if you don’t have a prenup, the default laws of your state when it comes to the division of assets, child custody, and a whole host of other things. A prenup gives you control over what exactly you are saying yes to when you tie the knot.
No one can predict the future, and while you are madly in love now, statistics show that not every marriage is meant to last forever. Think of a prenup like insurance for your marriage - you hope to never use it, but if you need to, you’ll be glad you have it.
Although prenups are most commonly used to determine what would happen if a couple were to separate or divorce, that’s not the only thing they can cover. Prenups can also address certain financial and estate planning questions, such as what your retirement goals are, or what you would want to happen in the event one of you were to become permanently disabled or incapacitated, or pass away before the other.
Whether you draft your own prenuptial or not, you effectively already have one. If you and your spouse were to get divorced, in the absence of a prenuptial agreement, you would be subject to the default laws of the state. So, the main benefit of having a prenuptial agreement is that it gives you and your partner control over the rules and terms by which you want your life together to be governed.
Aside from empowering and protecting you both, the exercise of creating a prenup can be extremely beneficial as you and your future spouse begin to figure out what you want your life together to look like.
For example, one important aspect of the prenup drafting process is full financial disclosure, where each partner provides the other with information about all of their assets and debts. Not only does this eliminate the potential for unwelcome surprises down the road, but preparing for full financial disclosure is a good reason to get your finances together! If your retirement accounts are scattered around at various investment firms from previous jobs, if you haven’t put together a budget, or don’t have a clear picture of your income and assets vs. your expenses, now is the time to sit down and figure it all out, or to update anything you’ve previously created.
The prenuptial process can look a little different depending on your and your partner’s circumstances, and whether and who you hire to represent you, but the basic process looks like this:
Yes, you can change or terminate your prenup at any time. As mentioned above, a prenuptial agreement should be a living document, and you should update it regularly as your circumstances change and you acquire assets, gain inheritance or other financial gifts, have children, etc. And, if for any reason in the future, you and your partner decide you would like to terminate your prenup, you can both agree in writing, to do so.
Unfortunately, prenuptial agreements are not always ironclad. Prenups can be terminated or set aside by the court in certain cases; if they find that it was unfair, or that one party did not disclose all of their financial information, for example. The best way to make sure your prenup will hold up in court is to ensure both you and your partner hire qualified family law attorneys who can guide you through the process, and ensure that everything in your prenup is allowed by law.
It can be awkward to broach the topic of a prenuptial agreement for the first time. You may have concerns about your partner misinterpreting your intentions and getting offended, or thinking differently of you, for instance.
However, one of the less glamorous aspects of sharing your life with someone is that sometimes you have to have hard conversations, and now is a good time to practice. Here are some tips to help the conversation go as smoothly as possible.
If you're ready to take the next step, or you have other questions about prenuptial agreements, we're here to help. Call us at (301) 388-5528 today to start building a stronger foundation for the future.