Tips for Surviving The Holidays

It’s December and it’s unavoidable — the holidays are here again. Everywhere you look, lights are twinkling, carolers are singing, and loved ones are gathering. Even for the biggest scrooge in town, the season’s magic is undeniable. But along with all that promise and renewed hope comes a more sinister reality to unwrap: the stress of soaring holiday expectations.

Ironic as it may sound, sometimes, the most wonderful time of the year is often the most difficult to be married. Not to mention the pain of navigating a divorce when the world around you is celebrating love. From presents to planning, financial concerns, family drama, and beyond, couples today face a seemingly impossible laundry list of seasonal challenges — whether they’re hoping to stay together or preparing to be apart. If this struggle sounds all too familiar, don’t worry: We’re here with you and for you.

Keep reading for some tips to not only survive this holiday season, but to keep it festive for you and your loved ones — no matter if you’re happily married, happily divorced, or anywhere in between.

If You’re Trying to End Your Marriage

#1 Throw Out The Rulebook: Spending your first holiday season apart from your spouse? Hang in there! Eliminate all expectations and spoil yourself with self-care. Remember — there are no rules to play by anymore. Craving Chinese? Dig in. Dying to watch that cheesy Christmas movie your ex always hated? Press play.

#2 Put Away The Cape: When it comes to buying gifts for your kids, don’t be the hero. We know you’re not so secretly hoping to be the parent who gets to give the all-star toy of the season, but trust us — making any child’s present your battle is the fastest way to lose (and ruin their Christmas in the process). 

#3 Remember What Matters: The truth is, your kids don’t care when they celebrate. What they do care about? Quality time with plenty of tradition to go around. The 27th is just as good a day as the 25th, so if that’s what works with your new reality, don’t question it.

…And Here’s One Thing NOT To Do: Serve your spouse divorce papers under the Christmas tree. (Yes, it’s been done. Spoiler alert: It was not well received…to no one’s surprise.)

If You’re Trying NOT to End Your Marriage

#1 Be Honest: Money is already one of the biggest stressors on a marriage. The secret to staying above the financial fray this year is simple yet effective: Tell it like it is. In other words, do your best to be honest with your spouse about how much you’re actually spending over the holidays — not only on gifts, but on all responsibilities the season brings.

#2 Choose Your Marriage: No one said it would be easy to choose seeing in-laws over your own parents. But making this holiday sacrifice could be the single most important gift you give to your marriage.  In case you need some inspiration… 

#3 Buy Wisely: Don’t spend more on anyone else than your spouse. Because there’s no getting around it: During this time of year, it’s not just the thought that counts.

The bottom line? Whether you’re staying together or figuring out how to be apart, marriage is a journey made up of many different chapters — and the 2021 holiday season is only one of them. Whatever your new year has in store, we’ll be with you every step of the way. 

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